The Story of Chang Er

The Story of Chang Er (or Changer/Chang'e)
aka Lady in the Moon
- by TC Lai, 11 Sept 2019

When Changer was told that her husband's apprentice, Fengmeng, had found out about their Elixir of Immortality (EOI), she panicked. "Ahn juah gong, ahn juah gong?" she cried. A kacang puteh man passing by heard her and felt kinship. "Kah kee nang," he muttered and proceeded to find out where the distress came from. A crow that had wanted to pecksteal his kacang flew to a nearby branch. It wondered what the big "dai chi" was and decided to wait and watch.

Changer, surprised by the sudden presence of a nutty man her home, swung round and knocked over a vase. It fell and broke, and spilled out a thousand small stones - pebbles that had been collected from the River of Consequence and Protuberance - a place where women often went to pray and bathe in hopes of obtaining progeny. Curious men also went there to see how the process worked.

"Furen, ler simi daichi?" asked the kacang puteh man, concern in his voice. He then noticed the river pebbles on the floor. They each had a two-character name written on them. He bent to pick one up, momentarily forgetting the wide basket of nuts on his head. It then tipped and poured out nuts, 'em nestling nicely with the stones making some kind of performance art statement. Changer noticed this and got emotional again. Crystalline tears formed, and fell, hitting the floor like hailstones. Ping, ping, ping.

The kacang puteh man looked on with mouth agape. His own wife's crying was less subtle and she would wail like a banshee. It was so wailful, it stopped farmers in their tracks; caused cats and dogs to slink away; and birds to drop dead. It wasn't pretty at all.

"Furen, are you ok? Why so sad wan?" said the kacang puteh man, looking concerned. He once had a name but had long since forgotten. Everybody called him Dat. "Dat" Kacang Puteh Man. So over time, dat became Dat, and that was that.

In that instant Dat realised he was talking to Changer, wife of the famous archer Who Shot Down The Nine Suns, the celebrated Mr Houyi. Immediately he bowed to pay his respects. The crow outside cocked its head in surprise too. But mostly it was eyeing the nuts on the floor and wondered if the red ink on the pebbles were some sort of warning. They looked like the headstones it had seen on B-roads and beside padi fields. Often of people who had perished with unsettled enyuan (resentment). For example, a highway robbery victim.

Well, if that crow had been trained, it might have known that the small pebbles were each marked with the character names of children Changer had hoped to have with Houyi some day.
But as with all high-minded career men, the decision to have children was always postponed. Or Houyi would come home too tired to even remove his pants. Things got worse after the Downing of the Nine Suns. Houyi got more involved in celestial matters and Changer felt her husband beginning to see Earthly Matters (fanjian) as a bit mundane. Sex - playful even - was out of the question. In desperation Changer threw Haole (Hustler) and Huatou (Playboy) magazines around the house so as to remind her husbnad of his spousal duty. But Houyi would only scorn in disdain and stick to his Bow Monthly, a magazine that featured many of his tips on how to excell in archery. In this way, Houyi slowly became very popular in Korea, which, in recent years, had become an archery powerhouse taking up all the Olympic glories. It made some Chinese citizens uphappy. But still, there remained the one and only Heaven-endorsed Houyi and his one very frustrated wife, Changer (better known for her beauty and zirconia-like tears).

Back in the guest hall:

"Yes, these are the spirit names I've given to chidren I wish to have. See how they have accumulated?" said Changer again, rather sadly. "This one I remember was named during the last Autumn Festival. I had hoped for a daughter then. Her name would have been Linyong. The next day, I longed for a boy and I would have called him, Dousa. Yet another would have been named Pandan. You know, Pan as in "to look forward", and Dan as in "courage". I had hoped he would grow up to be as brave as his father (but not that clueless!) I mean Houyi did look skin cancer in the eye and still tackled the many suns' problem nevertheless. And in such close schedule some more! Just like how those fellas in the Soviet Union tackled the great Cheng Nao Bi Da Nan (Chernobyl catastrophe).

Yet another kid name I had in mind was Liulian. My girlfriends tell me this name is very popular in the Nanyang Mao Shan area," beamed a suddenly more cheerful Changer.

Durians were her favourite fruit. And like durians, kid names too have their seasons! In the old country, Black Thorn was a very popular choice-name with expectant wives of mountain thieves and sea pirates.

On hearing Changer's explanation, Dat grew more sympathetic.

"Furen, give your husband time. One day his career will slow down and he will then think of children." He looked down at the pebble he was holding. It carried the spirit name of Danshu. Dat shook his head. Ah, all women have a biological clock. Men's nuts tended to stay fresh longer. At that he remembered his manners and offered Changer his famous kacang puteh.

Changer's tear stained (but no less beautiful) eyes widened at those powdery/sugary nuts that were her fave. She did not care for the ones with wasabi. Nor the chickpeas, which technically, were kacang but not nuts.

After chomping on a few of those excellent kacang puteh, Changer's mood lifted. However, the juxtaposition of the felled nuts and pebbles on the floor was not lost on her. The kacang puteh man could be right! Given time maybe one day, her own children could also chomp on these excellent tidbits. She then chomped on a few more to strengthen her resolution. She also involuntarily tightened her plevic muscles and caused the stylised wooden chair that she was sitting on to creak. A not-too-subtle demonstration of nei gong (inner strength) that went over the swooning head of Dat. A beautiful and famous woman chomping on his nuts! What good fortune!

Dat then started to dream of having a painting selfie with Changer to remember the occasion by. But as he was just a poor kacang puteh seller with no personal selfie painter-valet tagging along (unlike the town's rich folk), this precious moment with Changer existed only in his mind and hopefully, also folklore (no, not really).

On the other hand, the crow captured the moment all too clearly and tried to communicate this fact to a nearby buddy. Its loud cawing brought Dat back to his original good-deediness.

"But Furen, a while ago you were crying out 'ahn juah gong'," reminded Dat. "So what's the big daichi (problem), if I may ask?"

Changer, now a lot more perkier, furrowed her brow, an act that appears to be completely foreign to her perfectly complexioned face. Her collagen was still youthful-plently and those temporary worry lines that rose, soon evened out. Kind of like how foam rubber would react if similarly vexed.

"It's my husband's apprentice, Fengmeng," confided Changer. "He's after the gift that the Queen of Heaven had given my husband for his heroic act. I'm pretty sure he thinks he can sell it for a pretty penny at the town's centre Kaluojio (Carousell) or Jiushijing (Cash Converter)."

Changer was hesitant about telling the truth (of the EOI) to a complete stranger. Living an immortal life had always been a Chinese dream since the myth of the Eight Immortals Crossing Sea. It was particularly so with wannabe cross-channel swimmers and causeway ginseng smugglers.

In any case, after the Downing of the Nine Suns event, it had always been rumoured that Houyi was bestowed with an immeasurably wonderful gift by the heavenly folks. A longevity peach from the Imperial Heaven Garden? A case of Imperial Heaven Wine XXX - bottled since the inauguration of the Heaven? A magical Bak Foong Wan to cure all ills (including old age flatulence)? A self-floating cloud drone to ride on? Gold tipped arrows, etc, etc. The more the people speculated, the wilder the speculations became. Young girls even wished the gift to be a constant wind to blow at their hair like in some shampoo ad. Ah, which boy can resist that!

T'was understandable as heavenly maidens often chose that effect every time they came down to fanjian to communicate with ordinary folks. Except on rainy days.

That and backlighting.

Dat the kacang puteh man was too polite to ask Changer what that gift was. If she said it was valuable, then it was good enough for him to help protect it. After all she had happily chomped on his nuts. Dat was weak like that (as is with most men). And because Changer was twice the beauty of most women, Dat would have happily given his life and then some, to protect her. - A not too preposterous an idea given that Fengmeng's archery skill was quite commendable too. Within 20 yards, he could shoot a crow dead in the eye.

At this, the crow on that nearby branch suddenly palpitated with terror. It did not know why.

The truth of the matter was that Fengmeng was fed up. At the post Sun Downing award ceremony, only Houyi got rewarded. He Fengmeng only got a verbal thank you and shared applause. Shared! KNN. The whole affair - kind of like how Chewbacca (a character from another heavenly universe) was denied a medal when he and his buddies blew up a certain Deathstar. In the Downing of the Nine Suns event, Fengmeng was the guy who did all engineering and prepwork of the far-reaching arrows (supervised by Houyi, of course). An effort (in Fengmeng's mind) that was no less gilat (awesome) than designing an ICBM missile (yet from another space-time universe). However, Fengmeng should have realised that engineers throughout history did not win awards, only patents. Did not matter how glorious their invention was. Only folks who worked in the physical sciences or spent a lifetime writing books that only a select few will read, get recognised. It's the nature of such "noble" prizes.

Plus, marksmanship medals are always given to marksmen, not to the fellas who make the guns.

So Fengmeng got angry at learning that his Master was given the EOI and he, zilch. And since his master Houyi was presently away on Queen's duty (tasked to rid feral Western dragons from mating with Eastern Chinese dragons and donkeys), he decided it was an opportune time to go to his master's home to demand for it. His wife Changer would be an easier wrestle if it came to that. So much easier, kennasai.

Besides, Fengmeng was also suffering from premature balding and maybe a drop of the EOI could cure or return his remaining crown of glory to its former, er, glory. And if he was surreptitious with the stuff, he could perhaps dilute the remaining elixir and sell away as many bottles of it as possible and become immensely rich. Wasn't the Monkey God balding at certain spots from pulling his hair out working overtime for that monk Tang Zheng? A job hazard, no doubt. He would make an excellent First Customer Case.

"Furen, I know what you can do," offered Dat, lighting up with new insight. "There's that Mr Oh who runs a security business. I hear his new deposit box business is very good. You can place your valuables with him with no worries!"

"Mr Oh Yew Bee? The banker?"

"Yes."

"And his cousin De Bi Sai?"

"Yes, the same. And the other cousin, Po Si Bang. And..."

"Ok, ok, I get it," said a rather irritated Changer, a capable pun mistress herself. Everybody knew the top four money lenders in town including Mr Oh Cee Bi Cee, who hailed from Mongol forebears in Kaiping. Same as the Seto family clan. They, however, were more into the abacus and chestnuts business.

With that suggestion, Changer turned to take leave of Dat and go fetch the EOI. It was hidden in a space behind her husband's study desk. Her own study desk was in the kitchen, beside the gauze-lined cupboard that kept half-finished food.

Folks in ancient times are used to hiding stuff in furniture. Probably because many master wood craftsmen existed at the time. Today if you tried the same with Ikea furniture, they would simply fall apart; even if disturbed at the slightest. Ikea furniture, once set up, cannot be moved much. Else, they will wobble and become dangerous to pets and active children below knee height.

Unlike other flat pack manufacturers, Ikea wants you to think their designs colorful but honest, naive but functional. They were most unsuitable for hiding stuff (e.g. family heirlooms) given their insane names. No one could ever properly spell or pronounce them in their wills and last testament. And masking taping something to furniture is technically not "hiding". Many family heirlooms thus went missing ending up in the hands of workers of house removal companies or hard working town councilmen.

Indonesian furniture makers do a better job, especially with their late 19th century English-copy study desks. These have more hiding places than Ipoh's San Bao Dong.

The English liked hiding stuff because of the many rampages they have conducted in the past. The audacious ones hide them in plain sight. Example: The Tower of London. A landmark symbol of violence and thievery at the most obnoxious scale.

Back at the Hou mansion, Changer stared at her husband's study desk and wondered why she was suddenly so deep in thought with furniture past, present and future. She thought she must have caught a charmed splinter. And sure enough, there was one, right on her pinky. She must have caught it whilst reaching into that secret cubby hole. Oh, what lousy workmanship! she lamented. And sure enuf, a red chop at the desk's backboard said it was made by a blackmarket company called Yijiabang.

With the precious snuff-sized bottle of EOI securely in her hand (or rather placed in the pocket of her long sleeve) she retreated back into the guest hall to bade Dat Kacang Puteh Man farewell. She then left by the back garden and onwards to find Mr Oh.

====
Left alone, Dat had no issue picking up his fallen nuts, dusting them and putting them back into his basket. In the any case, the putehs were his favourites as they looked like diamond encrusted jewellery in bright light.

Dat also picked up the spilled pebbles with the spirit names and placed them on the table. The two-worded names stared back at him as if to suggest something. Soon Dat was turning them this way and that to form words. For example, "Kuang Ming" can be placed beside "Tian Cai" to form the words "Ming Tian" and so on and so forth. In this way, Dat Kacang Puteh Man invented the earliest Chinese version of Scrabble. He did not think about scoring yet. For that, he would need competition and another player.

The crow on the branch saw all that and decided it was a great way to communicate with humans. So far, their species had only been tested with the Retrieve Water in a Half-Filled Bottle problem. And that dumb Tic Tac Toe game that the chickens were so very good at.

Just as Dat was making up another word, in walked Fengmeng all huffed and puffed up as if "ready to blow the house down" (according to some fairy tale phrasing). He demanded to know why Dat was there and where Changer was.

"Sit, my friend," said Dat, motioning Fengmeng to an empty seat. A maid hassled in with some tea and just as quickly, hassled out. She too did not like Fengmeng much and found him leery. Dat looked at Fengmeng and explained: "Madam Changer bought some of my nuts and hurried out."

Somewhat thrown off by that odd statement, Fengmeng sat down and wondered why a person would suddenly run off with a pack of nuts. What emergency would require a pack of nuts? Pak lastic, is it? Make organic jewllery, is it? Or just to add to Hakka-style beef noodles? What? What?? Not as if they were Bitebi (bitcoins) for cashing in.

"Come, while she is away, we can while away our time." Saying that, Dat started to explain the rules of his new game to Fengmeng, who, in the absence of Changer had lost much of his anger steam. History has many examples of this: The wolf swallowing his puff after finding no pigs in the house; Cinderella's queen-mom swallowing her anger on Cindy's gazetted day off with the Filipinas; Snow White swallowing her singing voice when all the birds have flown South for winter; Robin Hood feeling uncomfortably loose in sarong on Tights-Washing-Day, etc. On days like these, folks knew not to gamble and buy 4-D.

Disbursed of his anger and charmed by Dat's kacang puteh, Fengmeng settled down to play piziyouxi (Scrabble) with Dat. Subsequently wine was brought in and Fengmeng further forgot about the EOI, so piqued he was with this new game. Dat, on his part, would try his best to avoid words that might remind Fengmeng of a long life, award, the sun, heaven, etc., - a little difficult given some of these words also formed auspicious names. But as the game wore on, both got more drunk and soon the table was running out of space, i.e. for pebbles as well as wine bottles.

====
Changer approached the Oh biaoju (security bureau) and enquired within for a meeting with the boss. But the boss had stepped out for a moment and Changer was asked if she would step into the guest hall to wait. That she did.

To her surprise, the guest hall was somewhat bigger than ordinary. Quite understandable actually as the security escorting business involved all manner of stuff. One day it could be escorting a precious sword to Wudang. On another day, it could be several chests of gold to some garrison on payday. So, it had to be big on an utilitarian basis. It was also built to be formal in some sense, to allow it to host clans when they meet to discuss jianghu matters. The last big issue was when famed swordsman Li Mu Bai wanted to take on a young, sexy ingenue as his tudi (protege). At a time when boys went to Wudang, girls to Ermei, and the in-between to Shaolin, this age-inappropriate matter became somewhat the talk of town. It also caused Li's shimei Yu Shu Lien a lot of heartache as she had long pined to wash his dojo clothes and mend his socks. Or help him apply TigerBalm heat rub after a long training session. Duties, as we all know, that are wifey suggestive in nature. But that damn Li Mu Bai was as clueless and high career-minded as Houyi. Perhaps all high martial art guys were like that. Kennasai.

The guest hall itself was quite airy. At one end, chariots could be rolled in; at the other a large table where packages could be prepared in many ways - from the mundane to the exquisite. Wrapped with plain waxed paper or gold-threaded tasselled cloth.

Usually busy with workers, today the table hosted a young man about Changer's age. He looked to be busy building a giant kite. A giant kite that had the form of a person somewhat.

The young man's name was Duan Lu, the first-born son of Mr Oh. And like most sons of rich towkays, he spent his time idling away at his hobbies.

"Is that a scarecrow?" said Changer, surprising the young man a little bit. Their eyes locked and the proverbial lightning and thunder ensued. A strong breeze blew through the hall and the candles within flickered. All in all, a moment that suggested space-time had rewound and forwarded again in a split second.

"Chang Er!" exclaimed Duanlu.
"Duan Lu!" counter-exclaimed Changer.

They both then snapped into a dance routine that involved a few stanzas:

"Chang Er Duan Lu
Yuan Er Jing Jing
Jian Er Bi Bei
Ren Er Yang Bi"

And they both ended up tickling one another.

"How ARE you?" asked both at the same time, like two long-lost twins.

"You first!"

"No, you first!"

It turned out that Duanlu and Changer were childhood sweethearts and that when Duanlu came of age, he was sent away for further studies. The childhood sweethearts then lost touch and their lives inevitably diverged. Changer then grew up and went into an arranged marriage with Houyi, whose father supplied military equipment to Changer's father's military garrison. A marriage of mutual benefit, so to speak, very common at the time.

At the present moment, Changer and Duanlu were so happy to reconnect that they eventually ended up in Duanlu's private study to talk some more. And as the day wore on into the night, the couple was still yakking animatedly away. By midnight, they were in each other's arms wondering what could have been and when the time-gong fella outside in the alleyway bang-bang-gong-gong to signal near-dawn arriving, the couple had committed what that has been enacted in so many soppy Cantonese movies before. Alamak, the girl has lost her virginity, the boy his puppy dog innocence, and both facing parental objection to their liaison.

Before the sun was up, it was Changer who spoke first:

"Look, if we are going to be together, we have to plan this carefully. Houyi and his celestial buddies are not people to trifle with. I mean he could ask them to send a lightning bolt down and we'll be toast, faster than you can say 'People's Action Party'!"

Duanlu, fresh home from overseas, did not know what Changer was on about. What People Action Party? Since when? Was she referring to the CCCP?

Nevertheless, he's smitten and nothing was going to separate him from Changer ever again. Changer being his qingmeizhuma (young plum bamboo horse aka childhood sweetheart).

"I've got to go home now or the maids will start to talk."

"But when will I see you again?" said Duanlu, tugging on Changer's long sleeve. The snuff bottle filled with EOI fell out and despite the dim light in the room, seemed to give off its own faint but mesmerising light. However, Duanlu did not seem impressed and he simply pick up the bottle and hand it back to Changer. He did not, however, miss the exquisite painting on the front. It depicted a beautiful maiden riding on a cloud with the moon in the background. Beside her was a white rabbit holding a jade rouyi (good fortune sceptre). The whole painting was somewhat a traditional sanshuihua (mountain-waterfall art) if not for that oversized moon that seemed to glow now and then.

Changer took her bottle back and paused to think if she should confide in Duanlu about its unusual contents. Sensing her hesitation, Duanlu voiced an encouraging "My dearest Changer-mei, simi daichi?"

"Oh, might as well," muttered Changer, and she sat down to tell her new-found-old-sweetheart the abridged version of the EOI history. 

"Wow," said Duanlu, when Changer had finished. He had grown up in the lap of luxury and so was not inclined to be greedy for anything valuable. Not even if it was an EOI. Because he was a well-read sci-fi fan, he understood the perils/unhappiness of living long/forever. It gets very lonely in the end. And he had no wish to be in heaven. The folks there were no different from any royal family: smug and privileged. He rather live the rest of his life in a whorehouse, and paint. Or open a library and be a forever inquiring scholar, and paint.

"Look, let's do this," said Duanlu, after some thought. He then reached out to pull a drawer open. Inside, it was filled with brushes and snuff bottles. He found a new one that was still bound in its wrappers (a recent purchase). He then motioned Changer to pass him the EOI and within a minute, carefully poured it all into its new home. With the old bottle he put in some baijiu, threw in some sparkly glitter and also a laxative pill. He then corked it all back up and gave it a good shake. It sparkled like the  old juice and then some. The new bottle was a novel one Duanlu had bought on one of his many travels. It had about same concept art except the moon was a tad smaller and the rabbit had its back turned and humping another. The lady of the moon looked on with an expression of both alarm and false modesty.

Duanlu the instructed Changer to replace this bottle of fake EOI back into its cubby hole so no one would suspect.

"This way, even if Fengmeng finds it, there will be no ruckus. It will take him years to realise that the EOI was a dud. And Houyi will not suspect a thing too."

Changer beamed at Duanlu for his brilliance. He hadn't changed a bit since young, still the same happy-go-lucky fella who's quick on his feet. Oh, the fun times they had when they were young. Outwitting both merchants and eating houses for free stuff.

By this time Changer had made up her mind to run away with Duanlu. Besides the lack of commitment to having a baby, there was that perpetual excuse of getting her her own bottle of EOI so they both could go live happily-ever in Heaven together. It would also cut down so much commuting time to work too, suggested Houyi then.

But as with such promises, it soon turned a shade of "real or bluff one" and eventually empty, kind of like how a mistress might keep hearing her man say he would leave his wife (which was always NEVER).

Changer too had begun to think Houyi keeping a mistress up in Heaven. His fastidiousness, growing disdain for fanjian, and of late, him coming home smelling of heavenly flower water. WTF, he must have gotten into a jacuzzi with one or more of those heavenly sluts, imagined Changer, her fists clenching as she recalled all those minute details. Her 'rubber foam' forehead creased and relaxed again. Changer was Changer after all, known for her gentleness and fondness for rabbits and animal socialism in general.

As a wife, Changer knew she deserved better. Now that she had found her old sweetheart, she could reset her life and be happy and not so lonely anymore. Fuck the celestial folks. Fuck the trips to the River of C & P to collect pebbles and give them increasingly inane names. Fuck the....

Sensing her troubled past, Duanlu kissed Changer gently on her overactive forehead once more. He then whispered: "I've got a better plan. We will pretend that Fengmeng tried to be funny with you and that you had no choice but to consume the EOI to keep it out of his evil hands. Then we will sell the story that because of the EOI you had become light of feet and flown up to the moon, staying up there forever. I can make a huge kite in your likeness and let it fly very high for a few nights. The moon is waning but there will be still enuf light for folks to see the kite. It will be perfect. The villagers will think the kite is you on the way to the moon."

With that Duanlu set off to work on the kite and Changer, towards home. They then little-finger promised to meet the next time the moon returned the night to darkness. And in that darkness, they would sneak away to rekindle and rediscover their childhood happiness again.

====
Back home, Changer found Fengmeng slumped on the table unconscious and drunk. Dat Kacang Puteh Man was no nowhere to be found. Seeing the scene before her, an obvious idea popped into her head. She then began to gingerly loosen the drunk man's trousers pulling it as far down as it would go. A smell of apocrine sweat rose to assault her and Changer gagged. Wah lun eh, she silently cried. Does this man ever bathe?!

Changer then ripped a piece of her own clothing off and placed in the Fengmeng's grip to make it seem as if he had assaulted her. To further burnish this fabricated tale, Changer looked at the pebbles on the table and began arranging them in such a way that they told the story of the evening ending with her consuming the EOI in desperation and in shame, flying away to the moon away from fanjian.

So good she was at it that if Scrabble rules were to be applied, Changer would have scored many Double Word and Triple Word scores. Even Changer herself was impressed by her mastery of the "pebble board" and hoped someday she could turn it into a bestseller.

Two spare pebbles caught her eye and she pocketed them. They would make great names of children she was going to have with Duanlu. She was pretty sure her childhood sweetheart "can do it one."

As a matter of fact, Changer was so hyped up with the idea that she creamed a little at the thought. Embarrassed that it happened in front of man (even one that is lying unconscious) she quickly exited the scene to continue to plant her fairy tale. First she returned to her husband's study, pushed aside the writing desk to make it seem disturbed leaving the empty EOI bottle on top. She then ruffled up the place to make it seem as if there was a struggle. Afterwards she went to her room to pack a few things. Whatever Houyi had gifted her in their short marriage, she decided to leave behind. She then took her favourite hairpin, a double set of night and day clothes, a head scarf she had never worn (good for disguise), a good supply of rouge and make-up (they would surely come in handy as camou!) Finally, she woke her sleepy-head of a maid up and told her of the fantastical but true story of how a celebrated archer's apprentice had gone to his master's house to steal his EOI only for the archer's faithful wife to put up a valiant but hapless struggle and in desperation, swallowed the EOI so the fiend could not get his hands on the darn thing. She then had to leave because her chastity was tarnished and that her husband should never go look for her. To add to the drama, Changer stressed that no one had drunk EOI before and wouldn't know what to expect. She could get very heaty and die; or as rumored, she could become featherlight and GPS her way to the moon.

Saying that, Changer then sent her maid to her in-laws place so she could later convey the whole incident to Houyi when he got back from celestial duty. She made sure the maid passed through the guest hall first to "witness" the mayhem - the broken vase, the drunken assailant, etc. The maid was also instructed to call upon the local constabulary to report on the 'crime' asap. Changer then took out a short letter she had written hastily in the study earlier and grabbing the only thing of value in the guest hall - a jade rabbit, pressed both into her maid's hands and instructed her to pass both along to Dat Kacang Puteh Man. She needed Dat to collaborate with part of her story. More than anything, she wanted to thank him for his role in reuniting her with her first love. Of course, this matter she did not mention.  Before sending her maid off one last time, she gave her a sachet full of silver taels. Just to be sure.

What Changer did not realise then was that her letter and reward to Dat had extra "power". For Dat would go on to spread her sob story all over town/province as he went about his merry way selling kacang puteh. Of how a fanjian lady ended up on the moon and looking down kindly on girls who needed their chastity protected. That this lady was not lonely because she was accompanied by a loyal jade rabbit. (In private, Dat fancied the rabbit to be him. At home the very same jade rabbit statue sat in a big pile of fresh kacang puteh everyday, such was his infatuation/reverence with Changer.)

And the more often Dat sold his nuts, his retelling of the story grew in stature. Very soon, it became customary to look up at the moon on each Autumn Mid-Summer night and wonder about the Lady Changer. Soon cakes filled with linyong, dausa, pandan and liulian were also made and communally shared in her honor. Young wives wishing for progeny also stuck a joss stick into a pile of spirit-named pebbles to pray to.

The belief that the lady in moon was Changer became especially strong in her own town/village. She and Duanlu had flown their kite there very very high. And silhouetted against that aforementioned waning moon, it had seemed as if Changer had physically flown away that very week when Fengmeng was also arrested for attempted theft, destruction of private property and attempted outrage of modesty. He would later wonder about Changer in his cell looking at the moon through its small transom window and feeling a particular pain. Houyi never hired an apprentice ever again nor remarried. The slutty maidens in Heaven were just too much fun and he soon forgot about his missing wife. Last heard, he was again sent on celestial duty this time to a faraway realm that had three suns that were nicknamed "The Three Body Problem". His exploits were later turned into a book by a certain Mr Liu.

As for Changer and Duanlu, they shared half a bottle each of the EOI and went on an extended honeymoon all over China. When he felt like it, Duanlu made and sold lanterns to help folks celebrate the myth of the new Mooncake Festival. But it was his kites of Changer that were the best sellers. With his new "wife" just as pretty as the Lady Changer, sales were also brisk. And not long after, Changer became the happy mother of two - finally fulfilling her wish for progeny. She named them after the pebbles she had taken from her former matrimonial home. Thankfully neither of the two were the flavours of mooncake and the children never had to suffer ridicule growing up.

As for the crow, it had flown into the guest hall and finished up all the spilled kacang puteh still on the floor (and table). It then pecked fruitlessly at a large worm under the table before realising it was woefully attached to the flesh of a man. In the end, it flew away bloodied but nuttier to tell its buddies of the incredible tale of one pretty lady who loved pebbles, kacang puteh and putting on a murderous play.

Crows, if you observe, are particularly agitated during mid-autumn season. And this is the reason why. The tale of Changer is a timeless tale that needs retelling. How to get out of an unhappy marriage, of rediscovering your first love and living your life out in bliss. It is not just about flavours of mooncake.

The end

Background: Story was inspired by how very little depth there is to the myth of Chang'e and Houyi. Hope this version suffices (lol).